The ONS released their annual survey of baby names this morning, and Guido can report that while the number of Borises being born is holding steady, the number of Keirs has plummeted. 15 Keirs were born in 2019, yet by 2020, this number plummeted by 40% to just 9. As a result, Sir Keir’s name has fallen from 1587^th most popular to 2228^th. The PM will be happy that the number of baby Borises remains constant at 745^th, with 43 born in 2020…

Carrie may also join in despair with Sir Keir. Despite 18 Carries born in 2018, and 14 in 2019, 2020 saw just seven – a ranking fall from 1940^th most popular to 3117^th. Labour’s deputy leader is proving less of a turn-off for parents than her leader, with 54 Angelas born in 2020 – a very popular baby name at 683^th…