SW1 is astonished by The Sun’s story today that two drug dealers found in Parliament have been arrested by the Metropolitan Police in the 12 months to this March. Officers also arrested five people for possession of unspecified drugs and a further eight for cannabis possession. The shock is primarily over the figures being so low. This is not the Big Ben bong Boris was trying to crowdfund in 2019…

Who were the offenders? Guido doubts any MPs would have been cautioned without us discovering, despite the obvious punchlines about Gove or Boris’s own histories with drugs – though Keir ‘Special K‘ Starmer could only prove more interesting on the substance. Guido’s money’s on staffers and other parliamentary workers, though given Corbyn’s so close to his weed business son, Tommy, could it be the absolute boy’s been fully enjoying his final years in SW1? In other news, Keith Vaz is working hard to return to parliament…