Now Labour are even U-turning on alpacas. On Monday, when asked on Sky News whether Geronimo deserved his death sentence, Wes Streeting said “it feels really callous to say yes”, adding that George Eustice is “facing some pretty serious allegations from Geronimo’s vet”. An ally of the cause…

Yesterday afternoon, however, Keir Starmer declared there’s “no alternative” to Geronimo’s slaughter, saying although “it’s a really sad situation […] I don’t think we can make an exception in this case.” Keep an eye on the alpaca-cam for any opposition assassins…