The head of the joint Normandy-Brittany sea authority has declared they are “ready for war” and “can bring Jersey to its knees” as tensions continue to ramp up between the UK and France over Jersey at a dizzying pace. War with France can only help Boris’s 10 point poll lead…

Responding to two navy vessels being sent by Britain to patrol the situation last night, Macron has retaliated by sending one of his own military boats, to join 100 French fishing vessels blockading the harbour. A French minister has said the country “won’t be intimidated” by British manoeuvres.

The French fishing vessels, seen with flares and banners, were described by one Jersey fisherman as being “like an invasion”. The farce was compounded this morning by a member of the Jersey Militia reenactment group firing a musket on the French boats:

As Dan Hodges points out, it can’t be long until Bob Geldoff turns up…

UPDATE 18:06: No. 10 has announced the Royal Navy vessels are to leave Jersey after the French fishing boats fleed earlier this afternoon, however they remain on standby to provide any further assistance the island requests

“The Trade and Cooperation Agreement brought in changes to fishing arrangements between the UK and the EU. Jersey authorities have a right to regulate fisheries in their waters under this agreement and we support them in exercising those rights.”