Coldplay has poured cold water on Dan Rosenfield’s dreams, telling The Sun, “Contrary to media reports, the band have not been approached to appear or perform at COP26.”.  Speculation that the band might be approached to appear or perform at the COP26 Glasgow summit remains just that, speculation.  This will be a blow to both of Coldplay’s fans…

While Boris is still trying to fight climate change, in his message to the planet that “I will try to Fix You”, The Scientist in No. 10 will now face Trouble in drumming up public support for Glasgow, and the global Paradise it aims to create.

Guido understands tackling light pollution also remains a priority, so children in inner cities can once again see A Sky Full of Stars. Chris Martin’s reassured the government, “it won’t be difficult to find someone In My Place”; and that Boris shouldn’t be offended – he just has a Yellow belly at the thought of performing in front of Greta…