Labour Left Unhappy Starmer Plans to Wrap Himself in the Flag mdi-fullscreen

Yesterday, Guido revealed Sir Keir’s latest soundbite was stolen from a 2016 Theresa May speech. Now it emerges he’s taking political inspiration from David Cameron as well, with Labour’s latest ploy to appeal to voters: putting on a proper suit, doing up his tie and singing the national anthem…

An internal briefing document leaked to The Guardian reveals Labour plan to try and align themselves with voters via “The use of the flag, veterans, dressing smartly” to “change the party’s body image”. If Starmer plans on getting a new suit, cyclists near his tailors should be on red alert…

The leak has gone down like a cup of cold sick with hardline staffers and London’s pro-Labour commentators. Other top swivel-eyed reactions include:

  • Clive Lewis MP: “It’s not patriotism; it’s Fatherland-ism. There’s a better way to build social cohesion than moving down the track of the nativist right.” 
  • Richard Burgon MP: “In the biggest crisis in decades, this really is poor.”
  • Owen Jones: “it comes across as patronising and totally inauthentic: like people who don’t understand the communities they’re trying to win over going “They like flags don’t they? Let’s whack them in the background…” 
  • New European’s Tim Walker: “We need more focus group ersatz patriotism in this country like a hole in the head.”
  • Dawn Foster: “Dying of embarrassment here”
  • Siobhan Benita: “I remember when Labour didn’t pander to a Tory vote, when it was true to core values – pro-European, internationalist, anti-discrimination, supportive of immigration. It was a winning strategy.”
  • Chris Williamson: “Labour has been scraping the barrel so hard since Sir Keir Starmer became the leader, they’ve gone right through the bottom now. Can they sink any lower?”

The kindest review Guido’s seen of the plans so far was from the bored Labour staffer who told The Guardian, “I couldn’t remember any of those ideas half an hour later. They were that dull.” Guido wonders what the Labour Party’s most famous flag admirer, Emily Thornberry, thinks of her new flag-friendly party?

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mdi-account-multiple-outline Keir Starmer
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