MEP’s Gagging Order After Illegal European People’s Party

As Britain’s lockdown debate continues to revolve around whether scotch eggs constitute a substantial meal, over on the continent this year of the pandemic is coming to a climax in a truly European way. This morning police broke up an orgy – or as the French call it in the article, “a game of legs in the air” – in a central Brussels bar involving 25 men, among whom included at least one MEP as well as a number of diplomats. The unnamed MEP is now claiming diplomatic immunity, leading to the public interest manhunt of the year…

Prior to claiming diplomatic immunity, the anonymous MEP attempted to flee through a window, only to injure himself and give up. Depending on how serious the injury was, he may now have to sit in the European Parliament as a non-attached member…

It’s not as if the Belgian police – who currently have to enforce a maximum of two “cuddle contacts” for citizens who live alone – had a hard time tracking down the illegal party-goers, given the street the bar is on also functions as the police station’s car park

Incredibly, Brussels has form when it comes to lockdown carry-ons. In 2015 when the city was in lockdown fearing a Paris-style terrorist attack, Belgian soldiers and police enjoyed a 10 person-orgy themselves while their colleagues hunted for the Paris terror attack suspects. Post-Brexit Nigel must be missing it all…

UPDATE: Local media is reporting that a Hungarian MEP was present at the drug fuelled orgy, which took place on the first floor of a bar on Friday night. By sheer coincidence a Hungarian MEP from the governing Fidesz party suddenly resigned yesterday…

UPDATE II: The recently-resigned Hungarian MEP József Szájer has confirmed he is the culprit. Readers may enjoy learning that Szájer recently helped re-write the Hungarian constitution to include “Hungary shall protect the institution of marriage as the union of a man & a woman”…

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