Speaking to Times Radio this morning, Lindsay Hoyle told listeners the House of Commons now has its own cat called Patrick to get rid of mice. What could the rigorous selection process for such a role look like?

Guido then spotted Hoyle’s own pussy – the subject of many photo ops – is also called Patrick. The Speaker’s Office has now confirmed to Guido that Parliament has taken on no new cats, and the only mouse catcher is Hoyle’s own pet who is occasionally brought down to London with him from Chorley. Guido thought new Commons rules forbid nepotism…