Military sources have revealed the PM’s official aircraft is receiving a secret groovy makeover that will transform the government’s official jet from a grey transport plane to a red, white and blue mascot; with one Sky source saying the paint job is like something “from Austin Powers“. It remains unknown whether the RAF jet will also see a leopard skin circular rotating bed installed…

When Cameron ordered the aircraft during austerity the argument was that it was a dual use aircraft – when needed it would convert back for military purposes, so the marginal cost was in the tens of millions rather than hundreds of millions the transport will cost taxpayers over its lifetime. As Foreign Secretary in 2018, Boris said he would like a “Brexit plane” to help him travel the world, complaining “why does it have to be grey?” Guido swingers hoping to see Bojo’s mojo in action may enjoy this video released after Boris left hospital…