With the craze for mobs tearing down monuments spreading from the US to the UK this weekend, Guido has compiled a handy list of other non-woke sculptures to smash for not befitting modern morality. Jumping on the left wing trend of posting pictures of statues you want the mob to go after next, here’s a list of more problematic sculptures…

• Cleopatra’s Needle, Victoria Embankment – not only did Cleopatra head up a slave-owning and trading society, her obelisk was actually constructed more than a thousand years before her reign by imperialist Thutmose III, who was behind the largest empire Egypt had ever seen. He led 17 campaigns, conquering lands from Sudan to northern Syria. Should we really be honouring this slaveholding, imperialist society?
• Tomb of Karl Marx, Highgate Cemetery – a giant memorial honouring a notorious antisemite, who repeatedly wrote of Jewish people as selfish creed, asking “What is the worldly basis of Judaism? Practical necessity, selfishness. What is the worldly culture of the Jew? Commerce. What is his worldly God? Money. All right! The emancipation from commerce and from money, from the practical real Judaism, would be the self-emancipation of our age.” Honouring ideas like this has no place in 21 Century Britain.
• Nelson’s Column, Trafalgar Square – Nelson was not an abolitionist. The Guardian has slated him as a “friend to slaveowners and plantation interests”.
• The Albert Memorial, Kensington Gardens – Albert served as Field Marshall of the imperialist British Army, and President of the “Society for the Extinction of the Slave Trade and for the Civilization of Africa”. Which promoted British intervention in African countries to end the slave trade globally…
• Tomb of William Wilberforce, Westminster Abbey – Wilberforce disapproved of female campaigners and opposed Catholic emancipation. As an evangelical Christian, Guido is pretty sure he wasn’t particularly progressive on LGBT rights either…
• Gandhi Statue, Parliament Square – Gandhi campaigned in favour of racial segregation, arguing that Indians as a race were superior to “savages or the Natives of Africa”. He used the racial slur ‘Kaffirs’ to refer to black Africans…

Statue-toppling is a hard door to close once opened…