Four days off Brexit day, the spearhead of the ‘Bung a bob for a big ben bong’ bid, Mark Francois, has finally admitted defeat that the campaign will fail. Despite loyal Brexiteers coughing up £270,000 of hard-earned cash for it…

The money raised – which fell short of the ludicrously high £500,000 being cited by the Commons – will now go towards Help for Heroes, and Brexiteers will instead have to settle for No. 10’s projected clock up against Downing Street. Brexiteers may not have won this battle, there’ll still be more than enough to celebrate on Friday night…