On the Today Programme this morning, the Shadow Chancellor extended an invitation to the ‘Phones 4 U’ billionaire John Caudwell to “come and have a cup of tea with me” following his announcement that he would leave the UK if Labour wins the election. Caudwell is known for being the UK’s biggest taxpayer…

Guido would warn the self-made billionaire against this particular course of action given McDonnell’s penchant for spitting in the bosses’ tea. Speaking at a rally in 2011, the future Shadow Chancellor praised a P&O worker who spits in her manager’s tea every day:

“There was one woman in all of that… she said I make the manager’s tea; I spit in it everyday. And it’s that form of we’re not taking it any more, and we’re going to give it back, I think builds up a climate of opinion, a climate of dissent, which I actually think, when combined with industrial action, will produce a tipping point that will force this government out of office and that’s got to be our objective.”

Guido shudders to think what he’d do to Caudwell’s drink…