113 days ago, the Tories installed big countdown clocks in CCHQ and Downing Street displaying how many days until Brexit. Rather awkwardly, however, Brexit is now no longer 1 day away, but 93 days away thanks to the latest extension. This is second-hand news…

CCHQ are now fretting over how to address the situation which is sure to rile derision on social media and are considering abandoning the Brexit countdown all together and switching to an election countdown. Meanwhile, Guido hears a whiteboard in the Downing Street Press Office that used to contain a written-on countdown has been erased all-together and replaced with a smiley face. A very forced smile Guido presumes…

CLOCK UPDATE: Day 4, CCHQ clock still claims the UK is leaving the EU in 13 hours…