Andrex Pooh-Poohs Brexit Scare Stories

Guido is disappointed to report that post-Brexit, readers will not have to resort to using copies of The New European when they go to the loo; as beloved toilet paper company, Andrex, have flushed away remainers claims that Brexit will limit supplies. Britain’s global roll will only be enhanced outside the tearable EU…

The 77-year-old number one number two company confirmed that “nearly all” of their product is manufactured in the UK, and they have strong contingency plans to ensure supplies roll on, “whatever the outcome of Brexit may be.” Guido looks forward to taking apart future remainer fake loos…

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Quote of the Day

John Bercow finally makes his view on Brexit known.

“Brexit is the biggest mistake of this country after the war. I respect PM Johnson but Brexit doesn’t help us. It’s better to be part of the [EU] power bloc.”

What a surprise…


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