Despite what even the most plugged-in person may think, Labour’s conference is still ongoing – and they’ve just passed one of their most extreme motions to date: Labour’s next manifesto will effectively smash all border controls. Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to receive free healthcare…

The motion just passed by delegates pledges to:

• Oppose the current immigration legislation and any curbing of rights
• Campaign for free movement, equality and rights for migrants
• Reject any immigration system based on incomes, migrants’ utility to business, and number caps/targets
• Close all detention centres
• Ensure unconditional right to family reunion
• Maintain and extend free movement rights
• End “no recourse to public funds” policies
• Scrap all Hostile Environment measures… and restrictions on migrants’ NHS access
• Extend equal rights to vote to all UK residents regardless of nationality

Uncontrolled immigration, free access to the NHS for the whole world, release all detainees, votes for anyone, from anywhere, with welfare benefits for everyone who makes it across the channel. This open border policy will drive traditional Labour voters straight into Nigel Farage’s open arms…

UPDATE: Migration Watch UK has responded to Labour’s new story, saying “If these reckless policies ever reach the statute book, we will all rue the day, especially the most vulnerable in our society”. Nigel Farage is typically blunt, “Labour now officially the party of open door mass migration without control. Old Labour voters will be appalled by this.” Labour are taking their voters for mugs…