After spending most of the last three years trying to blame the poor performance of his overpriced, mediocre restaurant chain on Brexit, Guido was surprised with the news earlier this week that none other than Jamie Oliver had apparently seen the light on Brexit. While Oliver still said he thought Brexit was “a really, really bad idea”, he had decided he now “believes in democracy” and wants us to “get on with it”. He even took up championing a new trade deal with the US. A tear ran down his face. He had learned to love Big Brexit.

Unfortunately it appears his Damascene Conversion has not lasted long, as Leave.EU have found. Following their celebration of the chef’s new-found love of democracy, Oliver’s legal team sent them a cease and desist letter, claiming his pro-Brexit statements are not accurate – despite them being direct quotes from him in an interview with The Times. His U-turn wouldn’t have anything to do with the news that Oliver’s hated turkey twizzlers could be making a comeback at schools in the event of a no-deal Brexit…?