Boris on Speed and Weed

When asked at his campaign launch this morning if he had done anything illegal, Boris responded that he “cannot swear that I have always observed a top speed limit of 70mph.” This is a topic Boris has been remarkably consistent on over the years. The last time he wrote about the speed limit he confessed to the same crime…

“Who needs to bust out of the comfortable old corset of the 70mph restriction? Well, all I can say is get out on to a road near you, baby, and look around. It’s you. It’s me. It’s everyone. If you see anyone who is obeying the law, apart from the odd motorised rickshaw, please give me a ring.”

In the same column Boris came close to advocating legalising cannabis…

“The same point can be made, of course, about cannabis, which is now a subject of lively debate in the Tory party. Isn’t that, by the way, just one sign that the Tory party is the coolest, chic-est and most happening place to be right now?

I appeal to all members of our nation’s yoof who may be reading this article to get with it, join the Tory party, help lower the average age from 67.75, and come break dancing with Peter “Tosh” Lilley and Charles “Rastaman Vibrations” Moore, the apostles of liberty.”

Although David Cameron’s previous support for cannabis legalisation disappeared in office, maybe Boris’ won’t. It’s already happening in the US and Canada and would be a novel way to win back younger voters…

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Quote of the Day

Fresh from making his campaign pledge to kill off old people, Jeremy Hunt says on Islamophobia…

“We have to be whiter that white ourselves… we have to make sure we are dealing with this issue…”


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