ConservatvieHome has asked all the declared Tory candidates fifteen questions, fourteen of which are the same for every candidate and one of those fourteen being the question everyone wants asked. Guido has collated the naughty answers, but recommends you read the interviews in full here…
What is the naughtiest thing you have ever done?
This is a slightly difficult question for someone who spent quite a number of years working in Iraq and Afghanistan, but I expect by naughty you mean something less intense. My mother would probably say that when I was nine, against her instructions, I sat on a cactus and she had to spend the next hour picking prickles out of my back side.
I’m not confessing to that!
As I told Sophy Ridge, it’s for me to know and you not to find out.
It was probably the time I told my mum I was taking the coach from Kent to Cornwall for a holiday with my friends at the age of 16, but instead I hopped on the back of a Honda motorbike for the journey down instead.
My sister and I once filled a row of gumboots with water. We were soundly thrashed. I may have done naughtier things but they have momentarily escaped me.
When I was a little boy there was a kid in my class who kept picking on me and calling me a ‘P***’. One day I had just had enough so I punched him square in the chops. Yes, it was satisfying but I’d be really cross with my children if they lost control of themselves and resorted to violence in the face of racism like I did. We crossed paths again years later in a lift in a shopping centre – he was contrite and we shook hands. In my old age I’ve developed a better ability to rise above digs about the colour of my skin…!
Drinking a cannabis lassi when I went backpacking through India.
It has to be falling off a table while dancing in a Soho bar and breaking my ankle while at my wife’s work leaving party. I was rumbled when I bumped into a journalist at St Thomas’s Hospital A&E (what were the chances) before taking Home Office Questions some days later – complete with a pair of crutches!
I also had to go to Algeria on a ministerial engagement as Immigration Minister. David Cameron, Nick Clegg and the Algerian Minister all thought my mishap was rather amusing. Theresa May, regrettably, did not. Still, that’s certainly naughtier than running through a field of wheat!
Aha! The most dangerous question in this contest! I was my university radio’s sports commentator. I was meant to be commentating on an England-Australia rugby match at Twickenham from the press box. I ended up not being able to get there on time. So I went to a pub, watched the opening, and then called in from a phonebox opposite, pretending to commentate on the opening saying, “the atmosphere here at Twickenham is electric”. Nobody realised. That’s the naughtiest thing about me that I’m prepared to tell!
It’s a long list, and not for public consumption, but I’d candidly suggest that standing for the Tory leadership on a second referendum platform must rank quite high.
I took drugs on several occasions at social occasions more than 20 years ago. It is something I deeply regret. Drugs damage lives. They are dangerous and it was a mistake.
Naughty naughty Tories…