The EU’s latest impending ban has vegans going totally nuts – now Brussels is prohibiting the use of words like “burger”, “sausage” and “steak” for vegan and vegetarian products. Popular meat-free alternatives face bean renamed as “veggie discs” or “quorn tubes”. This is no fa-laugh-eling matter…

The Vegan Society are not at all quin(-oa) on the proposals, they’ve kale-d on the EU to rethink the ban and say the measures are “not in the public interest”, quorning that they would cause “widespread administrative chaos, confusion and time wasting”. Says a lot that the EU have even managed to soy-l their reputation amongst natural Remainers…

The hummu-less French MEP behind the ban says it’s simply “common sense”. His wacky plan shows a tofu-l lack of it…