Green Party Mayoral Contender Hypnotises Women To Grow Bigger Boobs

Zack Polanski is standing to be the Green Party’s Mayoral Candidate and candidate for a seat on the London Assembly. His campaign video lists how he has worked in “schools, mental health services, universities, and prisons.” One job Zack does not mention is that of ‘hypnotherapist promising to boost women’s cup sizes’…

The Green Party hopeful charged women £220 a session to talk to their ‘unconscious brains’ about making their breasts grow. In 2013 he told The Sun that “This is an extremely new approach, but I can see it becoming popular very quickly, because it’s so safe and a lot cheaper than a boob job… In theory, it could work on other areas of the body, too.”

Guido has helpfully added this unusual skill to his campaign material…

Guido wonders if Zack will be able to work as many wonders to grow the Green Party vote…

UPDATE: A co-conspirator tells Guido that Polanski’s election video also misses out another important nugget of information. Along with having “campaigned in many different elections” he has seemingly campaigned for many different parties, having stood as a Liberal Democrat in the 2016 local elections. Guido also hears he may have been in the Labour Party before that…


Green News



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