The House of Commons infrastructure crisis has plumbed new depths after parliamentary authorities received five reports of broken toilet seats in just two days. Things are so bad that the parliamentary estate has run out of replacements – they are hardly flush with cash and are having to wait to replenish their stock. “It feels like another example of the rigged cistern not working for us,” complains a source. The search is on to find who is responsible for the cracked loo seat epidemic. At the moment they have nothing to go on…