How are the parliamentary authorities marking UK Parliament Week? By setting up a big Lego model of the Palace of Westminster, Tower Bridge and Trafalgar Square, of course. But there’s something (or someone) missing from the diorama currently on display in Portcullis House. On Nelson’s column, there’s no Lord Nelson…

There are conflicting accounts as to when Nelson disappeared. One researcher pointed the finger at “leftists”, alleging that the model Nelson may be absent due to the controversy over the real statue’s supposed connotations. Guido hears excited staff are now plotting to replace the missing Nelson with their favourite little Lego men and women. If you have seen Nelson, get in touch anonymously…