Beware of the ABBola Virus at Party Conferences

Anyone attending upcoming conferences needs to be on the lookout for the above faces of the bookies trade body, the ABB. The best recommendation is to avoid all contact.

They speak in ABBese as a consequence of the ABBola virus which attacks morals, ethics and integrity. Some of their pagan beliefs are:

  • There has not been any increase in gambling harm
  • Betting shops are the safest places to gamble
  • There is no money laundering in betting shops
  • There is no drug dealing in betting shops
  • All damage to FOBTs is caused by Acts of God, earthquakes etc.
  • Gamblers can win on FOBTs
  • There has been no increase in betting shops on the high street
  • They care for their all their customers
  • They have a problem gambling intervention policy – a nice cup of tea
  • They are happy to bar customers who have gone broke – until the next time they come in
  • They only have one member of staff per shop so that gamblers don’t feel intimated
  • FOBT gambling is “fun”
  • FOBTs save dogs and horses from the slaughterhouse
  • They work as a tax collector for HMRC (except when they can avoid it)
  • They work as a snitch for the cops (but only when they have been robbed)
  • The economy will collapse without FOBTs
  • They should have a protected market monopoly on high-street machines at stakes over £2
  • They are entrepreneurs because they introduced FOBTs illegally

These ABBese speakers have a duty to their members to spread the ABBola virus, so vaccinate yourself against it by visiting stopthefobts.org…

Content produced and sponsored by Campaign for Fairer Gambling




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Noel Gallagher on Brexit:

“In England, the Brexit thing, it’s like, I can’t believe there’s so much noise about it… It was put to the people as a vote, the people voted. That’s democracy. F***ing get over it.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Jez “Doesn’t Do Dinners” Jez “Doesn’t Do Dinners”
New Tory Slogan: Building a Britain Fit for The Future New Tory Slogan: Building a Britain Fit for The Future
Unilad Deleted From Facebook Unilad Deleted From Facebook
Royal Mail’s Tweets Deliver Truth About Nationalisation Royal Mail’s Tweets Deliver Truth About Nationalisation
Disgraced Gay Times Editor Is Labour Member Disgraced Gay Times Editor Is Labour Member
Yasmin Alibhai-Brown: “I’d Rather Be Mugabe Than May” Yasmin Alibhai-Brown: “I’d Rather Be Mugabe Than May”
Corbynista Rulebook Saves Lansman’s NEC Dream Corbynista Rulebook Saves Lansman’s NEC Dream
70 Million Reasons BuzzFeed Won’t Go Public 70 Million Reasons BuzzFeed Won’t Go Public
Sun Coffee Run to Broadcasting House Sun Coffee Run to Broadcasting House
Teething Problems for Salmond’s RT Show Teething Problems for Salmond’s RT Show
Hammond to Deliver “Real Action” on Housing in Budget Hammond to Deliver “Real Action” on Housing in Budget
Dods Shard Offices Infested With Maggots Dods Shard Offices Infested With Maggots
Nelson’s Back Nelson’s Back
Nasreen Khan Resigns Nasreen Khan Resigns
Young Liberals Condemn Cable For Defending Rennard Young Liberals Condemn Cable For Defending Rennard
Brexodus Was Bogus Brexodus Was Bogus
McDonnell Now Sure There Won’t Be a Run on The Pound McDonnell Now Sure There Won’t Be a Run on The Pound
Shadow Minister: “I Don’t Know” Why Corbyn Hasn’t Suspended Dent Coad Shadow Minister: “I Don’t Know” Why Corbyn Hasn’t Suspended Dent Coad
Byline Outs Russian Troll But It’s a Security Guard from Glasgow Byline Outs Russian Troll But It’s a Security Guard from Glasgow
Emma Dent Coad on “Fake Bake”, “Homies” and “Bluds” Emma Dent Coad on “Fake Bake”, “Homies” and “Bluds”