The Bookies’ QC is a Smooth Silk

Paul Darling QC, Chair of the Association of British Bloodsuckers (Bookmakers – Ed) (ABB), is so smooth that at the ABB 2017 AGM he said of betting shops: “In my view they are community hubs, they’re a key part of employment in the local communities, just as they are a place of vibrancy and an important opportunity to socialise for many customers.”

Let’s imagine for a second how else he might sell the betting shop experience in 2017 and it could go a little something like this…

“The diverse community hubs cater for East Londoners, Eastern Europeans, East Asians, East Africans and more, with 20 different languages on “self-service” betting terminals to assist with integration into gambling.

The bookies employ FOBTs, automated cash extraction machines, which avoid blowing the whistle on money launderers. Even when FOBTs get damaged, the machine health and safety repairs team soon get then up and running again so that the FOBTs never bother HR.

Customers socialising in these hubs include the homeless, the mentally ill, the addicts and the underage. Other customers help support the hubs through “charitable” cash donations to FOBTs from the drug-dealing, pimping, thieving, benefit fraud and tax evasion communities.

The colourful linguistic expressions of frustrated players as the FOBT speeds up roulette and creates the illusion of the spinning wheel and ball with addictive near misses, provides a unique electric vibrancy.   

There are so many local authorities who must be so happy that these hubs are clustered together. The proposal by them under the Sustainable Communities Act must surely be for a £2 minimum stake per spin on FOBTs, rather than a £2 maximum?”

Of course, 100 local authorities want the stake reduced from £100 to £2 for a reason!

Content produced and sponsored by Campaign for Fairer Gambling




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

President Trump at the UN:

“The problem in Venezuela is not that socialism has been poorly implemented but that socialism has been faithfully implemented.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Labour Moderates Screwed Labour Moderates Screwed
WATCH Boris: “I’m Not Resigning” WATCH Boris: “I’m Not Resigning”
Corbynistas Seek Right to Suspend NEC Elections With “Venezuela Amendment” Corbynistas Seek Right to Suspend NEC Elections With “Venezuela Amendment”
Osborne Repents Osborne Repents
Meanwhile on Labour’s Facebook Forum Meanwhile on Labour’s Facebook Forum
Heywood Breaching Cabinet Manual by Bypassing Ministers Heywood Breaching Cabinet Manual by Bypassing Ministers
Green NGOs Spend Taxpayers Millions Lobbying Government Green NGOs Spend Taxpayers Millions Lobbying Government
May Talks Down CETA Plus Option May Talks Down CETA Plus Option
Momentum Chair: “I’d Rather Have Solidarity With North Korea Than USA” Momentum Chair: “I’d Rather Have Solidarity With North Korea Than USA”
DEx-ODUS Continues DEx-ODUS Continues
WATCH: Lol-Ney Simply the Best WATCH: Lol-Ney Simply the Best
WATCH: Boris Meets Trump WATCH: Boris Meets Trump
EU Berets at LibDem Conference EU Berets at LibDem Conference
Cabinet Brexit Split: Where They Stand Cabinet Brexit Split: Where They Stand
Gardiner: Watson Not Up To Explaining Single Market Late at Night Gardiner: Watson Not Up To Explaining Single Market Late at Night
Loser LibDems Losing the Plot Loser LibDems Losing the Plot
Heil Duncan! Hitler Tash on Alan Heil Duncan! Hitler Tash on Alan
Boris Article Wasn’t Wrong About £350 Million Boris Article Wasn’t Wrong About £350 Million
Green: No, Boris Won’t Be Sacked Green: No, Boris Won’t Be Sacked
Rudd Refuses to Answer If She Wants to be Leader Rudd Refuses to Answer If She Wants to be Leader