The Bookies’ QC is a Smooth Silk

Paul Darling QC, Chair of the Association of British Bloodsuckers (Bookmakers – Ed) (ABB), is so smooth that at the ABB 2017 AGM he said of betting shops: “In my view they are community hubs, they’re a key part of employment in the local communities, just as they are a place of vibrancy and an important opportunity to socialise for many customers.”

Let’s imagine for a second how else he might sell the betting shop experience in 2017 and it could go a little something like this…

“The diverse community hubs cater for East Londoners, Eastern Europeans, East Asians, East Africans and more, with 20 different languages on “self-service” betting terminals to assist with integration into gambling.

The bookies employ FOBTs, automated cash extraction machines, which avoid blowing the whistle on money launderers. Even when FOBTs get damaged, the machine health and safety repairs team soon get then up and running again so that the FOBTs never bother HR.

Customers socialising in these hubs include the homeless, the mentally ill, the addicts and the underage. Other customers help support the hubs through “charitable” cash donations to FOBTs from the drug-dealing, pimping, thieving, benefit fraud and tax evasion communities.

The colourful linguistic expressions of frustrated players as the FOBT speeds up roulette and creates the illusion of the spinning wheel and ball with addictive near misses, provides a unique electric vibrancy.   

There are so many local authorities who must be so happy that these hubs are clustered together. The proposal by them under the Sustainable Communities Act must surely be for a £2 minimum stake per spin on FOBTs, rather than a £2 maximum?”

Of course, 100 local authorities want the stake reduced from £100 to £2 for a reason!

Content produced and sponsored by Campaign for Fairer Gambling




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Jo Swinson on Chris Rennard…

“Vince — and Tim before him — have repeatedly, publicly said Rennard is not welcome anywhere near their frontbench team, even as an adviser. I remain deeply frustrated that he was not expelled from the party through its disciplinary process. It just feels wrong, and I do not want Lord Rennard to continue as a member of the party. As far as I am concerned, he is not welcome.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Labour Suspends Ivan Lewis Labour Suspends Ivan Lewis
IPSO Clears Kavanagh Column IPSO Clears Kavanagh Column
Corbynistas’ Shameful Milosevic Defence Corbynistas’ Shameful Milosevic Defence
Stella’s Fake News Stella’s Fake News
McDonnell Asked 8 Times How Much Labour Would Spend Servicing Debt McDonnell Asked 8 Times How Much Labour Would Spend Servicing Debt
Tax Cuts in The Budget Tax Cuts in The Budget
Corbyn Goes Shouty Crackers Corbyn Goes Shouty Crackers
OBR: Hammond’s Budget Rabbit Will Increase House Prices OBR: Hammond’s Budget Rabbit Will Increase House Prices
Hammond’s Banter Budget: All The Jokes Hammond’s Banter Budget: All The Jokes
Watch: Corbyn’s Black Rod Message Backfires Watch: Corbyn’s Black Rod Message Backfires
Budget Pic Budget Pic
Putin: Alex Salmond is Not a Kremlin Propagandist Putin: Alex Salmond is Not a Kremlin Propagandist
Gilbert and George Come Out as Brexiteers Gilbert and George Come Out as Brexiteers
Rudd Missed Key Brexit Vote Last Night Rudd Missed Key Brexit Vote Last Night
Top Corbynista Compares Mugabe to Queen Top Corbynista Compares Mugabe to Queen
Owen, Piers, Guido Three-Way Owen, Piers, Guido Three-Way
EU Game Teaches Kids to “Collect More Taxes” EU Game Teaches Kids to “Collect More Taxes”
Kezia: I’m A Hypocrite, Get Me Out of Here Kezia: I’m A Hypocrite, Get Me Out of Here
Siemens to Cut European Jobs, Expand in UK Siemens to Cut European Jobs, Expand in UK
WATCH: DD Meets Cliff Edge WATCH: DD Meets Cliff Edge