After a disastrous year of political cock-ups – two words for you: Brexit and Trump – Paddy Power are determined not to make the same mistakes again in 2017, and have turned to a political heavyweight to guide them.

To revitalise the bookies’ approach to political betting they have recruited Nigel Farage, who correctly predicted the results of both the EU Referendum and the US Presidential Election – taking £10,000 off Guido in the process.

Part of Nigel’s job will be championing a radical new policy – something he has form for – while also leading the firm’s recruitment drive for their Head of Trump Betting vacancy. Nigel has already made wide-ranging changes to the bookmaker’s Trump micro-site, trumpbets.paddypower.com. They include slashing the price on the President to serve a second term (10/11 in from 13/8), advocating paying out early on the US building a Mexican border wall this year, and removing all markets on Russian collusion – which he calls ‘Fake News’.

Nigel tells Guido:

“So the Irish bookmaker lost $4.5million (£3.6million) on Trump’s election last year – another example of EU-based idiocy. Clearly, Paddy Power needs help – and independence from the anti-Trump narrative that has dogged their thinking recently. As the only British politician with a direct line to the Donald – sorry, Theresa! – I’m the perfect man to lead this recruitment intiative. For instance, given the Donald’s blistering start to his time in office, I’ve recommended that Paddy Power scrap their impeachment market – it’s clearly not going to happen.”

A Paddy Power source tells Guido:

“I’m sure the irony of Nigel taking a job in the EU isn’t lost on him, but we’re looking forward to channelling his expertise. He’s already made his mark on our approach – here’s hoping he doesn’t resign within a week.”