US Candidate Publishes “Scandal” List Confessing To “Deep and Casual” Sex

It’s the age of golden shower kompromat. You’re a political candidate fighting a tough election campaign. What keeps you awake at night? The fear that all your past sexual misadventures will be exposed, of course. It’s Guido’s mission to bring them to light…

Noah Dyer, running for governor of Arizona in 2018, is taking a novel approach to the threat posed by nosy hacks. Dyer is short-circuiting political journalism and dirty campaign research by publicly admitting to everything potentially embarrassing he has ever done. He is posting the details on his website in a “scandal and controversy” section:

“Noah has had both deep and casual sexual experiences with all kinds of women.  He is an advocate of open relationships.  He’s had group sex and sex with married women.  He has sent and received intimate texts and pictures, and occasionally recorded video during sex.

“Noah has a negative net worth, given that he has nearly $100,000 in student loan debt. His income based loan repayment plan is actually insufficient to cover the interest, and his balance grows every year.

“During the recession, Noah used credit card cash advances to pay tens of thousands of dollars in child support. He paid some of those debts in full, but ended up settling some those debts individually for anywhere from $0.25 to $0.75 to the dollar. He also sold his home in a short sale.

“Noah is divorced. According to the court arrangement he has his kids 30% of the time. In reality he has them just under half time.”

If there are worse skeletons in Dyer’s closet, this could of course catastrophically backfire. Guido does not approve of candidates revealing their skeletons like this, if it caught on he’d be out of business. Fortunately honest politicians are a rarity…




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Rowan Atkinson tells The Times

“All jokes about religion cause offence, so it’s pointless apologising for them. You should really only apologise for a bad joke. On that basis, no apology is required.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Fry, Hislop, Merton &Guardian All Mocked Burka Fry, Hislop, Merton &Guardian All Mocked Burka
Corbyn’s Home Pranked By Jewish Activists Corbyn’s Home Pranked By Jewish Activists
Rowan Atkinson on Boris Rowan Atkinson on Boris