Mak Gets Flack After Hack Pack Smacking

The Tory MPs’ team was thrashed 5-2 by the Lobby in the traditional conference football match yesterday. Changing room chatter reveals MP Alan Mak, a mercurial central midfielder, was subbed off after just nine minutes, by which point the Tories were 3-0 down. According to a teammate, “we started playing well when he was taken off”. Mak requested to be allowed back on the field in the second half – he lasted another five minutes before suffering the ignominy of being subbed off a second time. Housing minister Gavin Barwell scored the first own goal of conference by heading into his own net on an afternoon to forget for the Tories. “Mak-ed in the morning, you’re getting Mak-ed in the morning…”




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Boris on Osborne and Project Fear:

Unemployment has fallen by 250,000 to a new low of 4.2 per cent while record numbers of jobs have been created – including no fewer than 8 for the former chancellor and chief architect of project fear who has become a glorious living rebuttal of his own preposterous warnings.”

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