The increasingly unpopular NUS faces its sixth disaffiliation vote this month, with the University of Cambridge holding a referendum as part of the national “NUSceptic“ campaign to leave the loony-left union. With each member union paying sums as high as £50,000 into the NUS every year, the organisation’s focus on far-left policies rather than issues that matter to students could leave it with a massive financial black hole. So how are they trying to get back in touch…

In the 2015 financial year the NUS employed a new chief executive – Simon Blake – on a bumper £100,000 salary – nearly five times the estimated £22,057 average for graduates that same year. In total, the NUS employs 69 of its 237 staff – roughly one third – on £30,000 a year or more. With the top degree in terms of average earning being dentistry (at £30,348), Guido is sure struggling students will be happy that the fat cats in the NUS are safely earning more than they could ever hope to while facilitating riotous protests and debates over not commemorating holocaust memorial day. Guido calculates that, with an average students’ union bar price of £2.40, the costs of staffing the NUS could buy 3,856,835 pints – or roughly four pints per student. What would you rather have? Paid-up fun police or four pints…