Quentin Writes Around Sally

Buy "The Speakers Wife"

Quentin Letts’ new novel The Speaker’s Wife’, is published today. It is about Parliament and the Church of England, mainly. In the book a sly little backbencher fancies his chances of becoming Speaker of the Commons. To help him win the Chair, his supporters devise an election strategy called ‘Operation Chaise’ and it is laid out in a document which states:

“A would-be Speaker must show himself devoted to the House. He attends the start of Questions every day and adjournment debate every evening. Statements, Urgent Questions, Opposition-day debates – all attract his presence. Even Westminster Hall.

A would-be Speaker has a safe seat and can therefore afford to be magnanimous in debate. By arguing against pork-barrel issues he will present himself a politician of principle and impress the weekly columnists who deplore low populism. Immigration is a worry in his seat? He makes a speech deploring racism. It will cost him a few thousand votes but he will impress Hon Members whose political views are so much more refined.

A would-be Speaker is rude to his own frontbenchers, yet not to backbenchers on both sides. He catches the eye of those who have just spoken and nods in agreement. He may even write these MPs notes of congratulation and have them taken immediately to the recipient by the doorkeepers. He extols the ‘clarity and verve’ of plodders. They will be pathetically grateful. He tells ranters that ‘despite the false polarities of our parliamentary system and the silly convention that we should heckle one another, it must remain possible to hear a colleague on the other side of the House speak – ‘as you just did with such remarkable succinctness and courage’ – and agree with every word that is uttered’. These letters may be composed in a florid hand, in a fountain pen.

A would-be Speaker will also defend any MP who has been attacked by Grub Street. He will disdain those who ‘undermine the work we all do in this place’.”

Fiction? The book also has a sexy young Russian woman who gains a security pass to the Palace of Westminster. But of course that is an absurd fiction, as Mike Hancock will tell you. As for a colourful speaker’s wife, is that plausible? 

Available on Amazon: The Speaker’s Wife 




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Jeremy Corbyn on Big Ben Bong Ban

“… if we have to miss Big Ben in reality for a while so that work can be done, well, that’s something we have to go through. It’s not a national disaster or catastrophe.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Fears For Chapman Fears For Chapman
Why Transition Must Be Short Why Transition Must Be Short
PICTURES: Seumas’ Temper Tantrum PICTURES: Seumas’ Temper Tantrum
Don’t Believe ‘Victory For Hammond’ Spin Don’t Believe ‘Victory For Hammond’ Spin
Friday Caption Contest: Commando Chappers Edition Friday Caption Contest: Commando Chappers Edition
Angry Adonis Wanted ‘Office for Students’ Job Angry Adonis Wanted ‘Office for Students’ Job
Listen: Rees-Mogg vs Chapman Listen: Rees-Mogg vs Chapman
City Envoy Slams “Bewildering” Brussels City Envoy Slams “Bewildering” Brussels
Labour Pledged to Sell-Off Public Land Labour Pledged to Sell-Off Public Land
Corbyn’s ‘Local GPs’ Visit Staged by Labour Spin Doctor Corbyn’s ‘Local GPs’ Visit Staged by Labour Spin Doctor
Joly-Gone: Maugham Deletes Centre Party Plan Joly-Gone: Maugham Deletes Centre Party Plan
Milne: North Korea ‘Rational’ to Have Nukes Milne: North Korea ‘Rational’ to Have Nukes
LibDem Chief Exec Out LibDem Chief Exec Out
Jones Ditches Momentum For Radio Show Jones Ditches Momentum For Radio Show
Chlorine Chicken? EU Mired in Food Safety Scandals Chlorine Chicken? EU Mired in Food Safety Scandals
Juncker’s Junkets: Commissioners’ €500,000 Expenses Juncker’s Junkets: Commissioners’ €500,000 Expenses
Owen Jones in for Nawaz on LBC Owen Jones in for Nawaz on LBC
Watch: Maduro’s Thugs Executing Opponents Watch: Maduro’s Thugs Executing Opponents
Inside Baroness Scotland’s Home – But No Pictures Allowed Inside Baroness Scotland’s Home – But No Pictures Allowed