Quentin Writes Around Sally

Buy "The Speakers Wife"

Quentin Letts’ new novel The Speaker’s Wife’, is published today. It is about Parliament and the Church of England, mainly. In the book a sly little backbencher fancies his chances of becoming Speaker of the Commons. To help him win the Chair, his supporters devise an election strategy called ‘Operation Chaise’ and it is laid out in a document which states:

“A would-be Speaker must show himself devoted to the House. He attends the start of Questions every day and adjournment debate every evening. Statements, Urgent Questions, Opposition-day debates – all attract his presence. Even Westminster Hall.

A would-be Speaker has a safe seat and can therefore afford to be magnanimous in debate. By arguing against pork-barrel issues he will present himself a politician of principle and impress the weekly columnists who deplore low populism. Immigration is a worry in his seat? He makes a speech deploring racism. It will cost him a few thousand votes but he will impress Hon Members whose political views are so much more refined.

A would-be Speaker is rude to his own frontbenchers, yet not to backbenchers on both sides. He catches the eye of those who have just spoken and nods in agreement. He may even write these MPs notes of congratulation and have them taken immediately to the recipient by the doorkeepers. He extols the ‘clarity and verve’ of plodders. They will be pathetically grateful. He tells ranters that ‘despite the false polarities of our parliamentary system and the silly convention that we should heckle one another, it must remain possible to hear a colleague on the other side of the House speak – ‘as you just did with such remarkable succinctness and courage’ – and agree with every word that is uttered’. These letters may be composed in a florid hand, in a fountain pen.

A would-be Speaker will also defend any MP who has been attacked by Grub Street. He will disdain those who ‘undermine the work we all do in this place’.”

Fiction? The book also has a sexy young Russian woman who gains a security pass to the Palace of Westminster. But of course that is an absurd fiction, as Mike Hancock will tell you. As for a colourful speaker’s wife, is that plausible? 

Available on Amazon: The Speaker’s Wife 




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Angela Rayner on Labour’s economic policy (via Speccie):

“It is a bit of a sh*t-or-bust strategy…”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Lord Pannick Backs Gauke’s Judicial Review Lord Pannick Backs Gauke’s Judicial Review
“Get On Your Knees, B*tch” Clive Lewis Returns to Labour Frontbench in Reshuffle” “Get On Your Knees, B*tch” Clive Lewis Returns to Labour Frontbench in Reshuffle”
Vulnerable Children’s Data Breached at Labour-Run Leicester City Council Vulnerable Children’s Data Breached at Labour-Run Leicester City Council
Dover Traffic at Record Levels Dover Traffic at Record Levels
10 Times Chris Williamson Wasn’t Sacked 10 Times Chris Williamson Wasn’t Sacked
Watch: Baroness Jenkin Drops C-Bomb in Lords Watch: Baroness Jenkin Drops C-Bomb in Lords
Worboys Victims Formally Ask CPS to Reassess 93 Unprosecuted Cases Worboys Victims Formally Ask CPS to Reassess 93 Unprosecuted Cases
BBC Reined In Over False Climate Claims BBC Reined In Over False Climate Claims
Corbyn Said Davos “Conspiracy” is “Cause of World’s Problems” Corbyn Said Davos “Conspiracy” is “Cause of World’s Problems”
Khan’s ‘Independent’ Brexit Study Written by Leave-Bashers And Corbynistas Khan’s ‘Independent’ Brexit Study Written by Leave-Bashers And Corbynistas
Press-Hating Peers Pave Way for Leveson 2 Press-Hating Peers Pave Way for Leveson 2
EU Propaganda Service Chooses Soubry’s Constituency For New Base EU Propaganda Service Chooses Soubry’s Constituency For New Base
McDonnell Off to Davos McDonnell Off to Davos
“Absolute Disgrace” Worboys Victims Not Consulted on Licence Conditions “Absolute Disgrace” Worboys Victims Not Consulted on Licence Conditions
Thousands of Doctors on ‘Winter Crisis’ Ski Trips Thousands of Doctors on ‘Winter Crisis’ Ski Trips
Thornberry: “I Ain’t Gonna Answer” Questions About McDonnell Lynching McVey Thornberry: “I Ain’t Gonna Answer” Questions About McDonnell Lynching McVey
Jared Still Not Back at Work Jared Still Not Back at Work
Electoral Commission Confirm Remain Spending “Under Assessment” Electoral Commission Confirm Remain Spending “Under Assessment”
Government in Full Government in Full
Gauke Must Tell Parole Board to Explain Worboys Decision Gauke Must Tell Parole Board to Explain Worboys Decision