Readers will be aware that Labour have been busy devising a new code of conduct for social media, hushing up party members and MPs who are critical of Jeremy Corbyn online. Just what the code of conduct will stipulate has been subject to fevered speculation, including from UKIP’s sole MP Douglas Carswell, who has chipped in with his own advice for those drafting the guidelines:

1. Do remember that in the new politics the party whips are much more relaxed – so always tweet on message

2. Don’t be disrespectful to others – unless you’re referring to Simon Danczuk or Tristram or Blair. Or anyone not in Momentum.

3. Don’t use hate speech – unless you’re talking about #Toryscum. Remember someone need not be a Tory to be #ToryScum

4. Do broadcast your support for foreign terrorist groups – especially if you’re a party spin doctor

5. Do express your opposition to evil multinationals using an Apple, Samsung, or Sony device, and where possible free Wifi provided by Starbucks

6. Do use Facebook to complain about how Facebook doesn’t pay enough tax

7. Should you lose a debate or election among real voters, do retreat into your Twitter timeline to have your prejudices reinforced.

8. Jeremy Corbyn is the New Politics – so do not disagree

9. Don’t forget that in the new politics likes are more important than votes

10. Use a hashtag to signal your virtue and differentiate you from #ToryScum

Such mockery is so old politics…