Rubber Banned: Avid Javid’s Condom Comedy Turn

Sajid Javid is not famed for his easy manner in front of a crowd, though he had the right-wingers at the Conservative Way Forward summer party in stitches with the latest EU diktat to cross his desk:

“Talking about rubbish from the EU, I’m gonna give you an example. As Business Secretary, I take overall responsibility for negotiations involving the single market. Do you know, across my desk the other day, I got a brief saying the EU now wants to regulate the number of condoms you have in a packet. 

The Swedes are saying there must be five. They want one for Monday, one for Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.

The French are saying ‘non’, we want seven. One for Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, and one for Saturday and Sunday.

The Italians, they want nine! One for each weekday, and two for Saturday and two for Sunday. 

But you will be pleased to know that Britain has put its foot down. We want twelve.

January, February, March, April…”

Don’t be a fool, wrap your negotiating tool…




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Jeremy Corbyn:

“The blame is with the terrorists, but…”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Sunday Shows Sunday Shows
New Dates for Andrew Neil Interviews New Dates for Andrew Neil Interviews
Tory Lead Down 19 Points During Campaign Tory Lead Down 19 Points During Campaign
Corbyn: Foreign Policy A Cause of Manchester Attack Corbyn: Foreign Policy A Cause of Manchester Attack
Sneering Thornberry Sneering Thornberry
Ministers Wheeled Out to Defend Ditched Care Policy Ministers Wheeled Out to Defend Ditched Care Policy
Watch: Crick Roasts “Weak and Wobbly” May Watch: Crick Roasts “Weak and Wobbly” May
Protester Arrested at May Wrexham Visit Protester Arrested at May Wrexham Visit
Clegg Spinning Brexit Doom Report Clegg Spinning Brexit Doom Report
Read Tory Manifesto In Full Read Tory Manifesto In Full
Green Leaders Cringe Skit Green Leaders Cringe Skit
Never Ending Tory Deficit Reduction Horizon Never Ending Tory Deficit Reduction Horizon
LibDem Collapse Explained LibDem Collapse Explained
Taxpayers’ Alliance Updates Iconic Tory Poster Taxpayers’ Alliance Updates Iconic Tory Poster
Cult of Corbyn Cult of Corbyn
“Labour is Chocolate Gateau: Too Much Makes You Sick” “Labour is Chocolate Gateau: Too Much Makes You Sick”
Labour Election Broadcast Star’s “Tax Efficient” Accounting Labour Election Broadcast Star’s “Tax Efficient” Accounting