Bad news people: scientists have discovered that global warming didn’t stop in 1998 after all. The lack of statistically significant warming – often called the “pause” or “hiatus” – has long baffled climate scientists whose computer models are showing impending global warming doom.

So, how did the top boffins at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration work out that everyone had been reading the thermometer wrong?

They “corrected” the data by boosting the temperature readings from some ocean buoy recorders, upping ship-based temperature readings and raising land-based temperature readings. And just for good measure they adjusted the pre “pause” data downwards. If they were accountants, that would be called fraud…