“In the time since the election I can report to the House that I have found some small consolations of losing. Spending time with my two boys, who feel that they have their dad back. Though I confess that my eldest, who’s just turned six, did bring me further down to earth last week. He suddenly turned to me out of the blue and said ‘Dad, if there’s a fire at our house I think we’ll be ok’.

I said ‘why’s that Daniel?’

And he said, ‘if we ring the fire brigade, they’ll recognise your name because you used to be famous’.

‘Thanks very much,’ I said.

From my ‘used to be famous’ position on the backbenches, I look forward to helping play my part.”

Classily done. Sounds like he’s sticking around…