Guido’s Fantasy Frontbench: Douglas Carswell as Prime Minister!

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Click here to see Guido’s Fantasy Frontbench.

Sick of the Oxbridge elite running Westminster? Ever wished you could play the part of Prime Minister and pick the politicians that most closely represent your views? Well now you can. Fantasy Frontbench ( lets you directly compare politicians. Create your ‘fantasy’ cabinet of 22 ministers – sorting and selecting them by gender, education, age and experience, as well as how they have voted in Parliament on 75 key policy issues ranging from EU integration and NHS reform to Trident and same-sex marriage. Once you’re done, see how your frontbench statistically breaks down then share and debate it with friends and family.


Guido has gone for a dramatic change in the front bench line-up of a 7-party coalition, headed by Douglas Carswell as PM, to transition the nation towards becoming the world’s first iDemocracy. Boris would be Deputy PM just to cheer up the country, Farage goes to the Foreign Office to be in charge of their excellent wine cellar and the Brexit.  Similarly Alex Salmond would be Scottish Secretary and Leanne Wood as Welsh Secretary. Their national exits from English taxpayer subsidies to be their policy priority.

Labour would have one member of the Cabinet, ex-para Dan Jarvis to Northern Ireland to take charge of negotiations with ex-provo Martin McGuinness. Priti Patel will go to the Home Office to oversee the return of capital punishment for paedophile kiddie killers. LibDem John Hemmings to Justice to open up the secret courts. Michael Gove to the MoD to oversee a more realpolitik approach to defence policy in the Middle East in particular. Sajid Javid to the Exchequer with Steve Baker as chief secretary with responsibility for monetary reform.

Ex-nurse Nadine Dorries to take charge of the NHS and become Minister for Women. Jacob Rees Mogg to Education, parliamentarian par excellence Alec Shelbrooke to be Leader of the House. Liam Fox to wind down the DfID before it is merged into the MoD. Owen Patterson back to DECC and my old friend Tim Aker to Transport. Lord Maude to oversee the slimming down of BIS following a 99% reduction in the departmental budget. Following an admittedly shoddy backroom deal the newly enobled Lord Al Murray will go to Culture. Click here to see Guido’s Fantasy Frontbench in its entirety.

Create your own political dream team now at

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Quote of the Day

Writing in this week’s Spectator Diary, the former Chancellor and Evening Standard editor attempted to encapsulate how Boris operates…

“My children have the measure of our prime minister. A couple of years ago, my son and I went for a lovely Sunday lunch at his house in Oxfordshire — where he has a Kalashnikov mounted on the wall. Boris suggested we play a game. A tug of war, but with a difference. The rope is tied around your waist and the contest takes place across a swimming pool. If you lose you end up in the water, fully clothed.

That’s Johnson for you: fun, inventive but ruthless. I suspect his brother Jo had one ducking too many.”


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