A busy day on the stump for the PM, who seems to have spent the day stuffing his face. So far he has eaten:

Haggis (350 calories)

Fried egg (90 calories)

Fried bread (400 calories)

Fried mushrooms (160 calories)

Scotch egg (300 calories)

Steak, ale and Stilton pie (500 calories)

Half a pint of stout (135 calories)

Total calories: 1,935

2,000 calories already and it’s only just coming up to tea time.

Nevermind a chopper, they’re going to have to roll him back to London…