The G-Factor Candidates Audition

The Guardian editor pitches are out, with some deliciously cringworthy brown-nosing submitted in the“candidate statements” of the new wannabe Rusbridgers.

Janine Gibson, one of the favourites, goes for the Islington vote:

“we’re a meeting place for the communities we create around shared passions whether its county cricket, poetry, theatre or watching strangers date wearing Google Glass”

Hotly-tipped Katharine Viner has some innovative crowd-pleasing ideas:

“Themed roles would help us tell a coherent international story: correspondents for water, fossil fuels, women’s rights, a 1% correspondent.”

Meet Wolfgang Blau, the ‘check your privilege’ candidate:

“In regards to our journalistic portfolio, I would like to propose that we substantially increase the diversity of voices – politically, as well as ethnically… I am not a woman and I have not grown up in the United Kingdom. I can only promise to you that as the Editor-in-Chief – should you vote for me and should the Scott Trust choose to appoint me – I will do everything I possibly can to make sure women succeed in their careers at the Guardian.”

While Emily Bell goes for the tried and tested butter ’em up approach:

“This is a defining moment for the Guardian. You are among the very best journalists in the world. You have produced stories that have challenged the powerful – from News Corp and Scotland Yard to the US intelligence agencies – with courage and brilliance.”

Sluuurp!




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Quote of the Day

Trevor Kavanagh’s analysis of the Brexit process…

“Thanks to Mrs May and her useless Chancellor Phil Hammond, this will not come without pain. But we escape with imagination and true British grit or we will be boiled alive.

It means on this centenary Remembrance of our struggle against tyranny, we risk ceding non-military victory in Europe to the undemocratic forces of an unaccountable totalitarian regime.”

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