Oborne Allegations Shot Down By Three-Breasted Woman

In his withering resignation statement Peter Oborne revealed the final straw that left him with no choice but to quit:

“On 22 September Telegraph online ran a story about a woman with three breasts. One despairing executive told me that it was known this was false even before the story was published. I have no doubt it was published in order to generate online traffic, at which it may have succeeded. I am not saying that online traffic is unimportant, but over the long term, however, such episodes inflict incalculable damage on the reputation of the paper.”

Today Jasmine Tridevil hits back, insisting Oborne is wrong and that there is nothing false about her third titty:

“I know my breasts are real and I do not care what anybody thinks.”

Has Peter boobed?




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Michael Gove on Tom Watson:

“Tom believes Rupert Murdoch picks the England cricket 1st 11 and England rugby 1st 15, as well as deciding who’s on Britain’s Got Talent.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Meltdown After Nuclear Power Plant Holds Bikini Contest to Choose Interns Meltdown After Nuclear Power Plant Holds Bikini Contest to Choose Interns
Sunday Shows Sunday Shows
The Economist’s Lack of Intelligence Unit The Economist’s Lack of Intelligence Unit
Happy Independence Day! Happy Independence Day!
Sun Cleared by Hospital Sun Cleared by Hospital
Caitlin Moran Calls Her Readers “C*nts” Caitlin Moran Calls Her Readers “C*nts”
LibDems Call Like An Egyptian LibDems Call Like An Egyptian
You Won’t Believe Which Political Site is Most Viral… You Won’t Believe Which Political Site is Most Viral…
Russell Brand Has Endorsed Corbyn And The Tories Won’t Be Worried Russell Brand Has Endorsed Corbyn And The Tories Won’t Be Worried
New Dates for Andrew Neil Interviews New Dates for Andrew Neil Interviews
Katie Perrior Joins News UK Katie Perrior Joins News UK
Kelvin on Way Out Kelvin on Way Out
McDonnell Denies Being Marxist McDonnell Denies Being Marxist
Osborne’s First Front Toned Down Osborne’s First Front Toned Down
Isabel Oakeshott: Wikipedia is Hotbed of Fake News Isabel Oakeshott: Wikipedia is Hotbed of Fake News