Jim Murphy has pulled out of a public appearance today, after the McAshcroft poll pointed to a total rout for the party north of the border. Guido is told that Scottish Labour hope to ‘reschedule’ a stunt that would have their leader selling copies of the Big Issue for the day. Jim will have the opportunity to do so full time at this rate…

Meanwhile, here is the party’s mature response to utter Caledonian clusterf*ck. You would never have thought they’re a bunch of former NUS chumps:

Did you see David Cameron and George Osbourne chatting at #PMQs today? #VoteSNPGetTories pic.twitter.com/5FNVs1Eorr

— Scottish Labour (@scottishlabour) February 4, 2015

Yeah, retreat to that comfort zone. That will solve everything.