Theresa May has told the House of Commons that while she doesn’t really know whether it’s true or not, the Charlie Hebdo shooters where probably located by tracking their communications data. Because the Home Secretary feels like something might have happened, it is now apparently necessary for the government to listen to our phones and see our Snapchat naughty pics.

“It is too soon to say for certain, but it is highly probable that communications data was used in the Paris attacks to locate the suspects and establish the links between the two attacks. Quite simply Mr Speaker, if we want the police and security services to protect the public and save lives, they need this capability.”

Because policy based on intuition always works out well…