The First Noël, Chris Grayling Did Say

Last week Ebenezer Grayling threatened to pull out of a charity carol singing event because the local UKIP candidate had been booked to play the organ. Despite at first demanding to know how his emails were leaked to this blog, Guido is pleased to report that Grayling eventually embraced the yuletide spirit and took part. ‘Kipper church organist Robert Leach reveals:

“It was a very happy, joyful occasion. Chris Grayling did turn up. He turned up after I started playing and completely ignored me. I don’t understand it. Does he think I’m going to be playing Away in a Manager so seductively that everybody is going to say ‘listen to the piano player playing so beautifully I’m going to vote UKIP?'”

In the end £500 was raised for charity. It’s a Christmas miracle!


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Peter Mandelson tells Emma Barnett…

“I think that Jeremy Corbyn himself should search his conscience and ask himself whether he’s the best person to lead the Labour Party into the general election with the best chance of success for the party.”

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