After the Chinese government refused to give Tory MP Richard Graham a visa to enter on an all-party junket with the UK China Leadership Forum, the whole trip was called off and a diplomatic row is ongoing.

Peter Mandelson, who was leading the delegation, was already on his way to Heathrow when the decision was made to cancel: “No such problems for me,” boasted the Prince of Darkness on a conference call to the other planned attendees:

“I travel on a perpetual New Labour passport that opens doors all over the world.” 

And very lucrative doors at that.