SKETCH: Rachel Reeves, Labour’s Electronic Whiteboard

The liveliest moment in the Work and Pensions Budget debate came when Mark Harper named “the very well-known website, Guido Fawkes”. Shouts of protest from Labour. Wasn’t there some sort of rule, some guide to parliamentary language? What was the Speaker thinking?

Ah, Bercow’s campaign to propitiate the Tories is coming along nicely. He is considerably less loathsome in this new incarnation. Hardly loathsome at all, some say (Christians, mainly). If his backstage bullying has abated, that will suggest a complete personal refit. Any information welcome.

Mark Harper. He quoted the story (run below) revealing Ms Reeves’ raving red ambitions to offer hundreds of billions in universal benefits. Had she or hadn’t she said it?

Hers was the party, she riposted, that was prepared to take tough decisions.

She will need something dramatic to entice the electorate. Ms Reeves makes IDS look normal.

She emerged from the same backrooms that manufactured Ed Balls – using what office products were there to hand. She has the charisma of an electronic whiteboard, and engages her audiences as powerfully as those life-sized holograms at Luton airport.

But the text-to-speech program she runs off – it puts in a full stop between words to separate them out. Her Ts are double Ts (‘hospi-tturl’). And she produces sequences – not sentences – like “Labour’s Compulsory Jobs Guarantee” as though it meant something. That’s worse than “the Cost of Living Crisis”.

And they talk about “out of touch Tories”.

Her critique of the Budget mentioned the CJG and the COLC , and the TDs they’d take to A the BT (or the SRS as IDS calls it), but none of this has the pulling power of dusty old annuities.

Abolishing compulsory annuity purchase has thrown the whole one-term-opposition project into complete disarray.

It can’t have been much of a project.

In the absence of policies you need personalities. But Labour hasn’t got them either.

They’ve got RY&EEs.

Like him or not, Cameron is a person. And with a following wind, the same can almost be said for Osborne, too.




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Michael Gove to the Commons on Trident:

“The unilateralists opposite complaining today are in the position of eunuchs complaining about the cost of Viagra.”

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.

Facebook

Corbynista Stoke Candidate Rails Against PLP Corbynista Stoke Candidate Rails Against PLP
Government Trident Spin Misfires Government Trident Spin Misfires
TfL Told Khan he Could Freeze All Fares TfL Told Khan he Could Freeze All Fares
Watch: Jez Called “S***” on Train Watch: Jez Called “S***” on Train
Watch: May Refuses to Answer Trident Questions Four Times Watch: May Refuses to Answer Trident Questions Four Times
FULL-LENGTH TRUMP INAUGURATION SPEECH FULL-LENGTH TRUMP INAUGURATION SPEECH
Farage Hired by Fox News Farage Hired by Fox News
UKIP Announce Nuttall for Stoke UKIP Announce Nuttall for Stoke
Osborne Buries BlackRock News Osborne Buries BlackRock News
UKIP Out-NHS Labour in Copeland UKIP Out-NHS Labour in Copeland
Labour Copeland Candidate’s Son is True Lad Labour Copeland Candidate’s Son is True Lad
Govt Cancels Carbon Capture Govt Cancels Carbon Capture
Seamus Officially Leaves Guardian Seamus Officially Leaves Guardian
Article 50 Splits Shadow Cabinet Article 50 Splits Shadow Cabinet
Revenge Porn Momentum Candidate Quits Revenge Porn Momentum Candidate Quits
Red Len’s Hospitality Hypocrisy Red Len’s Hospitality Hypocrisy
Momentum Man is Porn Baron Momentum Man is Porn Baron
PMQs Sketch – Labour MPs Googling Museum Directorships PMQs Sketch – Labour MPs Googling Museum Directorships
NEC Fudges Danczuk Decision NEC Fudges Danczuk Decision