SKETCH: Dostoyevsky Off the A-Level Syllabus

Cameron reported a number of cautious, prudent and responsible measures to deal with the shirtless, bareback, gun-slinging psychopath with a nuclear arsenal.

Edward Miliband cautiously, prudently and responsibly urged him to be marginally less prudent and cautious, insofar as prudent responsibility would allow.

Miliband urged the Prime Minister to apply “maximum influence on allies” – up to and including the use of sarcasm.

The Prime Minister said Russian activity in the Crimea was “completely indefensible” – something the Crimean army has amply demonstrated. He also said in this grave hour, the Russian behaviour will “incur consequences”.

The Royal Family will not be going to the Paralympics.

They mean it to sting, all right. That’s a cut direct. How will Putin respond? The stakes are high. Europe is a tinderkeg.

The suspended preparations for the G8 will continue in a state of suspension. Be under no illusion: that’s not a go-slow, it’s an actual interruption. It’s a lacuna, the Foreign Office says, not a hiatus. That’s how serious it is.

Ministers won’t meet their Russian counterparts. Immigration talks will be postponed. Dostoyevsky will be taken off the A-level syllabus.

This retaliatory inactivity is a diplomatic strategy at which our world-class civil service excels.

On the positive side, a Facebook page has been set up so the leaders of Russia and the leaders of the Ukraine can talk to each other. And we in the West can only pray – ‘like’ each other too.

In the event that this robust package of doing nothing doesn’t succeed, the second phase of sanctions will start immediately. That is, immediately after Christmas.




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Shadow Education Secretary Angela Rayner:

“We have no plans to write off existing student debt.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Sunday Shows Sunday Shows
City Confident as Hiring Rates Rocket City Confident as Hiring Rates Rocket
Watch: Best Maiden Speech of 2017 Intake Watch: Best Maiden Speech of 2017 Intake
Child Protection Investigation ‘Stalled to Help Labour’ Child Protection Investigation ‘Stalled to Help Labour’
Davis Accepts Donations from Top Blairite and TV Remainer Davis Accepts Donations from Top Blairite and TV Remainer
BBC #NotOnTheList Stars Paid Via Production Companies BBC #NotOnTheList Stars Paid Via Production Companies
Pants-Wearing Councillor Boasted He Had “Vaz in My Right Pocket” Pants-Wearing Councillor Boasted He Had “Vaz in My Right Pocket”
Champion: ‘Not Possible’ to Keep Student Debt Promise Champion: ‘Not Possible’ to Keep Student Debt Promise
BBC Rich List Revealed: Salaries In Full BBC Rich List Revealed: Salaries In Full
Torbynista Greening Loses Fight for New Money Torbynista Greening Loses Fight for New Money
New Labour Spinner Boasted of Bullying Angela Eagle New Labour Spinner Boasted of Bullying Angela Eagle
Remainers Behind Smears and Negative Briefings Remainers Behind Smears and Negative Briefings
Byline Fined For Defamation in First Impress Ruling Byline Fined For Defamation in First Impress Ruling
Freedom From Abuse Not Abuse of Freedom Freedom From Abuse Not Abuse of Freedom
Milne & Blonde Pictured in Restaurant Milne & Blonde Pictured in Restaurant
Corbyn Spends Evening With Assad Loving Genocide Denier Corbyn Spends Evening With Assad Loving Genocide Denier
Osborne Defends Blackrock’s Investment on Front Page Osborne Defends Blackrock’s Investment on Front Page
Taylor Review Hijacked by Union Sock Puppets Taylor Review Hijacked by Union Sock Puppets
Assange Lawyer Named as Milne’s Mystery Blonde Assange Lawyer Named as Milne’s Mystery Blonde