Osborne: the Naked “Son of a Curtain Salesman”

The Chancellor is only commenting through his lawyers – who dismiss Natalie Rowe as a dodgy witness – but the former hooker from that photo has her book out today. Guido will bring you some key extracts today, suitable for a family blog.

Their first meeting:

“Chris met George Osborne while at Oxford; they were both members of the infamous Bullingdon Club. By the time I started seeing William, the three of them were close friends and often turned up at my place together. I called them my ‘Three Musketeers’. Individually, William was ‘Willie Wonka’, George was ‘Georgie Porgie’ and Chris was ‘Christopher Robin’. George first arrived at my place with Chris, along with his friend Philip Delves Broughton, a writer for the New York Times. George was an attractive 22-year-old and it was immediately clear that girls considered him to be highly eligible – they were always vying for his attention. I thought he was quite good-looking but much preferred William. At this time George didn’t show any signs of the defiant character he went on to display as Chancellor of the Exchequer. Chris and William teased him about his background, that he was the “son of a curtain salesman” (his father is the co-founder of Osborne & Little, the fabric and wallpaper designers) and because he didn’t go to Eton. George took it without complaint; he had this ‘look’ he would give me that said ‘How pathetic are they?’”

Osborne gets naked:

“On one particularly drunken evening at my flat in Prince of Wales Terrace, I made a bet with George, Chris and William that they would strip off naked, run out the door, down the street to a building that was fifty metres away and back again. The first one back would get a ‘prize’. Eventually, after a bit of cajoling, the three of them agreed, stripped off and waited by the front door. “Ready?” I said, my hand on the door handle. “Set… Go!” I threw open the door and off they ran down the front steps, bottoms wobbling as they pounded down the street. And, of course, I locked the door and went back inside. I watched as they came running back, cheering them on. They all arrived more or less at the same time and couldn’t believe what I’d done to them. “Please let me back in!” the future Chancellor of the Exchequer pleaded. They all begged, hands over their willies, and I just watched, laughing. I laughed so much that I collapsed and thought I might even wee myself. Luckily for them, my building was in a quiet cul-de-sac. I gave them a good few minutes, which must have seemed like hours, god knows what any passer-by would have made of three naked men standing in the street. Finally, when I’d decided they’d had enough, I let them back in. They loved it and were all laughing afterwards – they’d enjoyed the joke.”

Rowe is very clear that the character of “Joe”, a young politician with the safe word “Mary” is not Osborne.

Though regular readers will remember the word “Louise” from a while back…




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Jo Swinson on Chris Rennard…

“Vince — and Tim before him — have repeatedly, publicly said Rennard is not welcome anywhere near their frontbench team, even as an adviser. I remain deeply frustrated that he was not expelled from the party through its disciplinary process. It just feels wrong, and I do not want Lord Rennard to continue as a member of the party. As far as I am concerned, he is not welcome.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Tax Cuts in The Budget Tax Cuts in The Budget
Corbyn Goes Shouty Crackers Corbyn Goes Shouty Crackers
OBR: Hammond’s Budget Rabbit Will Increase House Prices OBR: Hammond’s Budget Rabbit Will Increase House Prices
Hammond’s Banter Budget: All The Jokes Hammond’s Banter Budget: All The Jokes
Watch: Corbyn’s Black Rod Message Backfires Watch: Corbyn’s Black Rod Message Backfires
Budget Pic Budget Pic
Putin: Alex Salmond is Not a Kremlin Propagandist Putin: Alex Salmond is Not a Kremlin Propagandist
Gilbert and George Come Out as Brexiteers Gilbert and George Come Out as Brexiteers
Rudd Missed Key Brexit Vote Last Night Rudd Missed Key Brexit Vote Last Night
Top Corbynista Compares Mugabe to Queen Top Corbynista Compares Mugabe to Queen
Owen, Piers, Guido Three-Way Owen, Piers, Guido Three-Way
EU Game Teaches Kids to “Collect More Taxes” EU Game Teaches Kids to “Collect More Taxes”
Kezia: I’m A Hypocrite, Get Me Out of Here Kezia: I’m A Hypocrite, Get Me Out of Here
Siemens to Cut European Jobs, Expand in UK Siemens to Cut European Jobs, Expand in UK
WATCH: DD Meets Cliff Edge WATCH: DD Meets Cliff Edge
Momentum Plot to Treble Council Tax For 15,000 Households in Bristol Momentum Plot to Treble Council Tax For 15,000 Households in Bristol
75% of European Medicines Agency Staff Want to Stay in London 75% of European Medicines Agency Staff Want to Stay in London
Newsnight’s Royal Farce Newsnight’s Royal Farce
MPs’ Security Costs Rise 1395% MPs’ Security Costs Rise 1395%
Just 12% of MPs Vote to Stay in Customs Union Just 12% of MPs Vote to Stay in Customs Union