MPs Hit By White Powder Terror Hoax

MPs are being drilled in how to deal with an anthrax attack after brown envelopes containing white powder were sent to their Westminster and constituency offices. Guido understands the harmless bodybuilding protein powder, postmarked from Exeter, has been received by a number of Members’ offices over recent weeks. Presumably the hoaxer is not familiar with the concept of recess.

In the event they receive a similar package, MPs and their staff have been instructed by the Serjeant-at-Arms to close their windows and doors, turn off the air-con and wait for the cops. Ruining a nineteen year old intern’s day probably isn’t quite the anti-state sedition Exeter’s top moron had in mind…




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Boris Johnson was shown a trophy monkey head as he toured a room of illegally-poached animals seized by Scotland Yard. He said:

“What’s this poor chap here? Faint air of a … Labour backbencher.”

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