Maria "Nicola Murray" Miller

In boycotting the Open Golf Championship because it doesn’t allow women members, and then putting political pressure on the BBC to demand they take action against John “no looker” Inverdale, struggling Maria Miller has excelled herself this week. So much so that DCMS civil servants have nicknamed her Nicola Murray after the bungling minister from the Thick of It. Unfortunately for everyone who has to work with her, she will no doubt survive the reshuffle when it eventually happens. After all, as Malcolm Tucker put it to Nicola:

“Look, don’t worry. The PM is not going to sack you after a week. Sacked after twelve months, looks like you’ve f***ed up. Sacked after a week, looks like he’s f***ed up.”

Looks like Dave will have to wait to put her out of her misery.




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Theresa May tells Bercow:

“Mr Speaker-elect, can I congratulate you on your re-election. At least someone got a landslide.”

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