Burn More Fossil Fuels to Save the World

Life on earth will cease to exist and Armageddon will strike because of too little – rather than too much – carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, so say scientists. Astrobiologist Jack O’Malley-James of the University of St Andrews told the National Astronomy Meeting that as the sun grows hotter, more and more carbon dioxide will be taken away from the earth’s atmosphere, making the planet uninhabitable for photosynthesising plants and therefore herbivorous and then carnivorous animals. As things stand we currently have a mere two billion years left before the end of the world, though theoretically that date is being drawn ever nearer by the drive to cut greenhouse gases and so further reduce CO2 levels. Fire up the coal furnaces and get fracking to save the planet…




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Quote of the Day

Dominic Raab wrote in his letter of resignation…

“This is, at its heart, a matter of public trust,” he told the PM, concluding: “I cannot reconcile the terms of the proposed deal with the promises we made to the country in our manifesto at the last election… I believe that the regulatory regime proposed for Northern Ireland presents a very real threat to the integrity of the United Kingdom. I cannot support an indefinite backstop arrangement, where the EU holds a veto over our ability to exit…”

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