Burn More Fossil Fuels to Save the World

Life on earth will cease to exist and Armageddon will strike because of too little – rather than too much – carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, so say scientists. Astrobiologist Jack O’Malley-James of the University of St Andrews told the National Astronomy Meeting that as the sun grows hotter, more and more carbon dioxide will be taken away from the earth’s atmosphere, making the planet uninhabitable for photosynthesising plants and therefore herbivorous and then carnivorous animals. As things stand we currently have a mere two billion years left before the end of the world, though theoretically that date is being drawn ever nearer by the drive to cut greenhouse gases and so further reduce CO2 levels. Fire up the coal furnaces and get fracking to save the planet…




Tip offs: 0709 284 0531
team@Order-order.com

Quote of the Day

Jeremy Corbyn on Big Ben Bong Ban

“… if we have to miss Big Ben in reality for a while so that work can be done, well, that’s something we have to go through. It’s not a national disaster or catastrophe.”

Sponsors

Guidogram: Sign up

Subscribe to the most succinct 7 days a week daily email read by thousands of Westminster insiders.
Fears For Chapman Fears For Chapman
Why Transition Must Be Short Why Transition Must Be Short
PICTURES: Seumas’ Temper Tantrum PICTURES: Seumas’ Temper Tantrum
Don’t Believe ‘Victory For Hammond’ Spin Don’t Believe ‘Victory For Hammond’ Spin
Friday Caption Contest: Commando Chappers Edition Friday Caption Contest: Commando Chappers Edition
Angry Adonis Wanted ‘Office for Students’ Job Angry Adonis Wanted ‘Office for Students’ Job
Listen: Rees-Mogg vs Chapman Listen: Rees-Mogg vs Chapman
City Envoy Slams “Bewildering” Brussels City Envoy Slams “Bewildering” Brussels
Labour Pledged to Sell-Off Public Land Labour Pledged to Sell-Off Public Land
Corbyn’s ‘Local GPs’ Visit Staged by Labour Spin Doctor Corbyn’s ‘Local GPs’ Visit Staged by Labour Spin Doctor
Joly-Gone: Maugham Deletes Centre Party Plan Joly-Gone: Maugham Deletes Centre Party Plan
Milne: North Korea ‘Rational’ to Have Nukes Milne: North Korea ‘Rational’ to Have Nukes
LibDem Chief Exec Out LibDem Chief Exec Out
Jones Ditches Momentum For Radio Show Jones Ditches Momentum For Radio Show
Chlorine Chicken? EU Mired in Food Safety Scandals Chlorine Chicken? EU Mired in Food Safety Scandals
Juncker’s Junkets: Commissioners’ €500,000 Expenses Juncker’s Junkets: Commissioners’ €500,000 Expenses
Owen Jones in for Nawaz on LBC Owen Jones in for Nawaz on LBC
Watch: Maduro’s Thugs Executing Opponents Watch: Maduro’s Thugs Executing Opponents
Inside Baroness Scotland’s Home – But No Pictures Allowed Inside Baroness Scotland’s Home – But No Pictures Allowed