Darius Guppy Breaks Boris Silence

Dodgy Darius Guppy, last heard asking Boris for the address of a Screws hack he wanted to give a bit of a kicking, has let rip at Eddie Mair in a great scoop for the Speccie this afternoon:

“And then Mr Mair attacks the Mayor of London for agreeing, when in his mid twenties, to supply a friend – me – with the address of a News of the World journalist so that the journalist in question can be given the hiding which most of us secretly admit such people deserve. Tell me, Mr Mair, if a piece of tabloid scum wished to smear members of your family, what would you do? Cry? Report him to the Press Complaints Commission? As we all know, Mr Johnson never provided me with any address and it is perfectly clear from the tape recording in question that he was simply placating a friend he considered to be letting off steam. But while this may rightly exonerate the Mayor of London, my own line has always been somewhat different – and consistent: my only regret being that I was never able to finish the job.”

He seems pretty angry still, and has some harsh words for the his old chum:

“The jokes and fun were all very well but the Boris Johnson I knew liked ideas and ideas are what we need now, more than at any time since World War II. The rest of the now prominent nonentities among our contemporaries – the politicians in particular – were simply incapable of ‘big’ or new ideas to an extent which, as a widely-travelled man, I have seen in no other society. It is upon ideas therefore that I suggest he focus, not on an office to which no honour attaches nor any real power. So too he must cherish the mother of his children and the family God has given to him. A career has been made by pretending that Ian Hislop is actually funny and a general dumbing down.”

Just what the Mayor needs to make this story go away.




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John McDonnell does a funny:

“I’m told there are a group of KGB colonels who are suing The Sun for associating themselves with us.”

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