Labour press officer to “ordinary people” at Ed Miliband photo-op…

“Take off the passes. We don’t want to see the conference passes.”

See Guido's Column in the Daily Star Sunday

In the column this week:

Shapps Launches Poster Attack on Ed Miliband & Ed Balls

Shapps’ CCHQ goes negative. Expect two more years of this…

EU or Not EU, What is the Question?David Cameron Letter to John Baron

Saturday Seven Up

This week 95,241 visitors visited 290,319 times viewing 498,288 pages. The top stories in order of popularity were:

You’re either in front of Guido, or behind…

An Iranian news agency has fallen for an Onion spoof.

Read all about the hilarious cock up on MediaGuido

Iran News Agency Falls for Onion Spoof

This is pure gold. The Iranian Fars news agency has run a story from the spoof online news site the Onion, apparently failing to realise that it was all a joke. Under the headline “Rural whites prefer Ahmadinejad to Obama”, Fars hilariously reported:

TEHRAN (FNA)- According to the results of a Gallup poll released Monday, the overwhelming majority of rural white Americans said they would rather vote for Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad than US President Barack Obama. “I like him better,” said West Virginia resident Dale Swiderski, who, along with 77 percent of rural Caucasian voters, confirmed he would much rather go to a baseball game or have a drink with Ahmadinejad than spend time with Obama. “He takes national defense seriously, and he’d never let some gay protesters tell him how to run his country like Obama does.” According to the same Gallup poll, 60 percent of rural whites said they at least respected that Ahmadinejad doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s Muslim.

Amazing.

Wee Dougie Coughs Ken Truth

Douglas Alexander has surfaced for his annual pre-conference toe dip into the media. Last year he went after Ed Miliband, this year he’s said what every Labour supporter with a brain knows full well:

“Ken’s campaign too often looked like the past rather than the future. And when I saw his remarks about the Jewish community in London in particular, I didn’t just think it was ill advised, I just thought it was wrong. It’s not our politics to try and divide voters into blocks. The success of the Olympics reminds us that London’s greatness and Britain’s greatness is when we come together. And I think he paid a deserved price for some of the errors that he made.”

Nice of him to speak out at the time…

UPDATE: Needless to say Ken’s accomplices in his deceitful campaign are gutted:

Tragic!

UPDATE II: Ken hits back:

Mitchell's Deigns to Give Local Rag Shoddy Pleb Spin

One week on and Andrew Mitchell still cannot give a straight and simple answer on whether he said the word “pleb”:

“On Wednesday night I tried to leave Downing Street by the main gate, something I have done many times before.I was told that I was not allowed to leave that way. During the subsequent altercation, although I did not use the specific words that have been suggested, I do accept that I did not treat the police with the respect they deserve.

“It’s been extremely difficult both for me and my family. I have apologised and said that I am extremely sorry. I think most people who know me know I would not use words like pleb or moron in describing anyone. I would gently point out that I did not say the words that have been ascribed to me.”

Why won’t he just say “I did not call the officer a pleb”? As he should have last Friday. Nice to see him hiding behind his children there too. Very Huhne…

Where's Ed? – Press Coverage Plummets

Ever thought you haven’t been seeing much of Ed Miliband recently? You wouldn’t be wrong. A new study by LexisNexis has found that both Boris Johnson and Danny Alexander receive more press coverage than the leader of the Labour party. Ed Balls didn’t fare much better – apparently he has a lower press profile than Ed Davey. The analysis looked at how many articles mentioned the two Eds over the last seven days in comparison with other politicians. That submarine strategy is working… 

Boris helpfully intervenes on Dave’s Letterman appearance:

“I think he was only pretending. I think he knew full well what Magna Carta means. It was a brilliant move in order to show his demotic credentials and that he didn’t have Latin bursting out of every orifice.”

Friday Caption Contest (Zombie Labour Edition)

A new documentary is claiming that Jimmy Savile sexually abused underage girls on BBC property.

Read the explosive allegations over on MediaGuido

Jimmy Savile Sex Abuse Exposed BBC "Cover Up" Allegations Mounting

Guido has hinted at the coming BBC Jimmy Savile cover up scandal previously, and things are certainly hotting up today. The final edit has just been made of an explosive new documentary alleging that Savile sexually abused up to ten girls as young as thirteen while at the height of his fame. On BBC property.

As Guido reported in February it is claimed Savile molested underage girls in hospitals, schools and BBC studios, allegedly giving his victims seats in the audience in return for sexual favours. The spotlight will now fall on what the BBC knew and when, why a Newsnight report containing the allegations was mysteriously spiked and why they failed to inform the police about the evidence they had uncovered. New York Times president Mark Thompson, then the BBC Director General, has some very difficult questions to answer…

Video: Harman on Jeremy ####

Did she really do that and was it deliberately?

Gordon's Reality Check

If the Prime Mentalist didn’t already know just how much everyone misses him, he will now. Gordon was supposed to speak at a press conference at the UN in New York last night but had to cancel after just one journalist turned up. McMental had hoped to enthrall a room of hacks with a speech about his latest schools initiative but was left red-faced when he was confronted with an empty room. It’s almost tragic. Almost…

Ed's Zero Base

Labour have spent the last week fretting about economic credibility, the cause is the realisation that the economy has probably bottomed and growth is returning. In fact yesterday saw an upwards revision of previous GDP figures which effectively halved the supposed depth of recession. The unemployment figures are going in the right direction, private sector growth is still anaemic though getting healthier, the re-balancing of the public sector is proceeding. The much awaited expansionary fiscal contraction is, whisper it quietly, almost upon us. This will fatally undermine the Balls mantra of “too far, too fast”. When Shadow Minister Ian Murray endorsed the idea of reviewing every single piece of public spending, he sent Balls into a spasm. Nobody came out to defend the policy or Murray, especially not Chuka Umunna, who despite numerous opportunities, ran to the hills. Now Ed Balls has stolen the policy in an interview with the Guardian.

In what looks like a a pre-conference policy side-step, Ed Balls has jumped on the “Zero Base Policy” bandwagon this morning. This state-slashing policy was outlined by Labour’s Miss Goody-Two-Shoes Stella Creasy earlier this summer. First advanced by the Adam Smith Institute this sensible policy is one that every government should embrace. Incoming governments should assess every single line item and every penny of taxpayers’ money spent. That should not be controversial.

Guido is glad that Balls has come round to this idea, though he does find it odd that just 48 hours ago Labour were trying to distance themselves from the very same policy when we asked. The problem Guido has with this Damascene conversion from Labour is that they have had years to review their spending. Instead of tackling waste they borrowed to spend and spend and spend – like a drunken sailor in a knocking shop. Balls has consistently denied debt fuelled overspending was ever a problem, repeatedly claiming (as recently as last month) that it was all going tickety-boo until the 2008 bank crisis hit. The metamorphosis of Balls into a supposedly frugal fiscal hawk willing to cut spending is something to behold.

Guido will only believe Balls if he announces – before the election – plans for line item spending cuts, in detail, in every government department and agency to balance the budget. Ed Balls won’t because he is only shifting his position because he knows an expanding economy with healthy growth will leave him looking foolish come election day. The only thing that is “zero based” is Ed’s fiscal credibility.

Obama Attack Ad: "Wake the F**k Up!"

Samuel Jackson makes it work…

Scilly Spring: Dictator Raiding the Cash Reserves DfE Investigation Under-way

Guido understands the Department for Education inquiry into the Scilly school scandal is gathering pace and there will be “boots on the ground” shortly. The revolution that is rocking the South West is progressing nicely, with the locally loathed tin pot dictator/council chief executive Philip Hygate forced onto the airwaves this morning to deny he is overseeing a “climate of fear” on these once pleasant archipelago. His defence for why he should remain in his jobs was laughable. Jobs that is, not job – he’s also the checks and balances arm of the council. As monitoring officer,  Hygate gets to investigate the numerous complaints about himself. Apparently the job is “a burden” and yet he felt by carrying out the role himself he was saving the council money. His concern for saving cash wasn’t quite so evident when he rammed through a 20% pay rise last year.

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Just as Gaddafi told his people: “I am not going to leave this land. I will die as a martyr at the end. I shall remain, defiant”, Hygate is digging in. We all know how it went for the Colonel, though at this rate Hygate will be facing cuffs rather than a bullet.

In a new development tonight, in what is the local government equivalent of fleeing across the border to Niger with a truck full of gold, the embattled chief exec is demanding £40,000 for the 100 days of unclaimed holiday that he’s been building up for years as something of a rainy day fund. The rules state that a maximum of 5 days can be accrued. Councillors will vote on the matter at 6pm tonight. That would be nice stash to fall back on were he forced to flee to the mainland… 

Read the whole saga that Guido broke in May, leaving the BBC, Guardian and Telegraph chasing, here.

Guidogram Going Out Shortly

The Guidogram round-up of the week is going out shortly.

Thousands of Westminster insiders read the Guidogram, everyone from Downing Street insiders to Fleet Street never miss it. Don’t miss out on all the latest on Labour’s red princes and what happened when Guido met Steve Coogan.[…] Read the rest

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Quote of the Day

Shadow Education Secretary Angela Rayner:

“We have no plans to write off existing student debt.”

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