Gordon Brown’s Mobile Phone Throwing World Record Broken

Ever since he was revealed to have furiously hurled three Nokias at a Downing Street wall Gordon Brown has been the unofficial mobile phone throwing world champion. Until now…

The Prime Mentalist has cruelly had his top Team GB achievement taken away from him after Finland set a new world record for throwing a mobile. 18-year-old Ere Karjalainen launched his phone an impressive 101.46 metres, smashing Gordon’s previous personal best of the width of a room in Number 10. Guido is sure Brown would never let anyone take his gold away from him…




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Trevor Kavanagh’s analysis of the Brexit process…

“Thanks to Mrs May and her useless Chancellor Phil Hammond, this will not come without pain. But we escape with imagination and true British grit or we will be boiled alive.

It means on this centenary Remembrance of our struggle against tyranny, we risk ceding non-military victory in Europe to the undemocratic forces of an unaccountable totalitarian regime.”

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